just got back from my first day on the job of being a stripper. definitely signing up for pole dancing classes ASAP and bass classes..because well, i wanna learn to play bass. the girls there are really nice and we're all here basically for the same thing, money. it pays really well, and really fast, but it's not easy. well, it's not for me right now.
it's taking me a while to get used to the idea of being sexy to a stranger, but it's also allowing me to explore things that interest me a lot more. i like being sexy. i like kinks. i like bodies.
it's really fun to converse with guys..i think that's the best part for me
but then it's like..oh hey? you wanna dance? which pretty much means "hey you want me to shove my boobs in your face and my ass and play with my tits"
of course they do.
it's just funny for me i guess because i've always been more on the cutsey type.
i was talking to this girl, who was really nice and wanted to help me get comfortable with the idea of stripping, and she said that the first time she tried it she was too serious. that people could tell she was uncomfortable.
she's really good at it now! this is my testimonial.
anyway, my problem is that i get too giggly and i start to want to make jokes.
this is my nature. even when i'm argueing with someone, i just start to laugh, because life just seems so ridiculous to me.
but i can't do that now.
i have to make money.
my first table dance was to this guy. he was overweight and was in the corner.
he really liked my dance, he said, but i felt horrible about it.
it sucks because i wonder what stripping does to guys. i can't help but feeling bad after i was done with that dance because i really hope that guy is with someone and i really hope that although his wife doesn't look like a skinny "exotic dancer if you will" that he still really loves her, you know?
but even if i wasn't stripping, i know that the norm idea of beauty will still perpetuate itself through everything else..commercials..billboards..blah..so why not make money for something i can't change?
that my friends is what i call an excuse.
i get too invested in my clients. it sucks.
i refused to give this one guy a dance because we talked for too long and when the conversation started to fall flat i decided i didn't want to do it even though i was later told he wanted a dance becaause..well...i don't know..
anyway, i know i'll get over it..and i know i'll just start having fun at the job..
and STOP THINKING ABOUT THE POSSIBLE EFFECTS STRIP CLUBS HAVE ON SOCIETY
ELY THAT PROBLEM IS BIGGER THAN YOU
 SO STOP
it's really nice making guys cheese up over you.

i've been meeting some interesting people lately. the girls there are reaaaallly sweet. also, on thursday we're having a killer fest thing or whatever, and i'll get to meet people who do bondage and all kinds of weird sexual shit. i'm excited because i want to be exposed to all kinds of sexual stuff and one day know that i've experienced a lot of different heights of ecstasy because i worked for it..lol..

sexual moves aside...there is nothing there.
i just really can't wait to use these moves on aaron. heheheheh. there some sexual moves..and than theres some intimacy.


funny: boyfriends of "entertainers" are not allowed in the club. haha..funny right? ^-^
i had to sign a contract for that.

awesome: i can make 50,000 annually if i continue to do this. do you know what i'm thinking?
traveling!!!!!!! and school!! and clothes!!
weird how much money enables people to do things.
when i was in high school i was like "i don't need money. i have everything i need"
LOL
oh how the tables have turned..

i've seen so many tits and asses today. pretty awesome.
i don't think this objectives woman (i'm speaking for myself)
but just kind of makes it like...yeah..we have these bodies...lets be comfortable as shit with them.
i don't care if you see me..i don't care if i see you..
there is definitely a sisterly bond at the admiral..it's what i like the most about it i think.

 oh and btw, my stripper name is Rose.
for now anyway.
don't really like it.
i was gonna get called Luna
but it's too close to Lana
so...fuck.