"I feel quite chipper"

I love not knowing what I'm getting myself into and finding out that I'm going to have to get partially nude to get my measurements taken for a role as a zombie in a psychological horror film. My friend Alex is in charge of all this. I'm proud of him, but at the same time, I can't take him seriously with his little desk lol. He made me sign contracts lmfao.
Throughout the whole photo shoot/measurement, I was repeatably told "I can do whatever I am most comfortable with".
What a weird thing to say.  What are you putting into question? How comfortable I am with my body? How comfortable I am with you touching me?
Pretty fucking comfortable. Let's be logical.  It's like, I know we're not about to get intimate. And the human body isn't anything to be ashamed/shy about.

Anyway, it was kind of fun getting partially naked for strangers. I don't know why, but it is. I guess it's because it's something that seems so wrong because of what someone else has probably told you, but it really isn't.

Doing this whole thing reminded me of writing camp. My teacher would always say "the answer is always yes". Should my essay...?? Do you want us to...? Do you think I should...?. The answer is always yes. A lot of good pieces came from that. *sigh. I want to go to another writing camp. I guess I should just major an English. It'd be like writing camp every day. Anyway, my new goal in life is to start saying yes to things more often. 

I spent the whole night playing a remixed version of Dungeons and dragons with Chaz and his friends and the friends of his friends. My character was Paul  McCartney's BASS. My cliche's were the ability to summon John/George at any time, to overwhelm someone with emotion, paul mccartney's signature (for the money), and the British invasion (screaming obsessed fans). It was AWESOME. This one dude was an alcoholic philosopher. The setting was us being late for work, and he was all like "what does it even mean to be late?" Lmfao. It was pretty much us telling stories and rolling dices and the dices determined wherever the story went. We drank liquor in beatles cups. I had the rubber soul album. I decided I liked this crowd.

The snow is lovely. It was twinkling. It reminded me of the stars. and fluff. and cloud. and refreshing water. I could feel the cold air in my lungs.
I fucking love belmont and clark. I love the people. It's weird to think that someone right now is having the best time of their life. Belmont and clark sort of makes me feel like the best time would happen there. Even at 2 AM, there are people roaming around, enjoying themselves. 
The snow is covered in footprints. When I was walking down western, mine were the only one.

I can't wait to experience Chicago as an adult. To really do all the things I've wanted to but never could. My dad is hella lenient now. It's rad. As long as I'm going to school, he doesn't care what time I come home or where I am going.  I have experienced so much because of this. YAY.

I think I might be a bit selfish. I'm working on it.

Kevin called me but I never called him back.

I have no time. I've been busy. It's surprising how well-liked I am. I wonder how Crystal is doing. I wish she wasn't so....self-centered. I wish we could be friends. I wish people saw what I saw in her. I wish she trusted me more. She's so afraid of judgement.

 Tomorrow,  I want to be alone.