the random mess that is me

Music has been sounding extra awesome and it's always sunny in philadelphia has been extra funny.

I love Turn on the Bright Lights. Just the album and who the band was when they created it. I don't like any of their other stuff.

Yesterday I kept taking pictures of myself because I was high and I was like whoa..this is me. Is it really? No, maybe not.

I have to stop making my dad sad. It sucks that my happiness gets in the way of his happiness.

I'm never at home because I hate being there. I'm very much excited to move out.

My little brother has a really good sense of humor. It came out of no where.

I hate being in pilsen. I've been spending too much time in the south side. I guess maybe it's because I could potentionally love it but I feel like I'd need to go through a hell of a process to do that and I rather just avoid all that.

I love being in wicker park. Walking there always feels like a warm embrace of fond memories and a knowing that more will form soon.

I love certain gestures. Certain gestures make me want to look affectionately at someone. My mind does it for me, since my eyes can't.

I love people. But I also hate them.
I also think some of the are smelly.

My sister's friend coined my nickname in grammar school: Smelly Ely.

I think it's beautiful and also fustrating how complex humans are. The worst part is that I'm a human.

I have a method to my madness.

I like people who are contradictions, like me.

"Cautiously, I allowed myself to feel good at times. I found moments of peace in cheap rooms just staring at the knobs of some dresser or listening to the rain in the dark. The less I needed, the better I felt."

Why can't we be friends Charles Bukowski?
In the afterlife? Ok..the afterlife.
Can you imagine me and Bukowski being reincarnated into dogs and being best friends and causing havoc wherever we go and really really annoying our owner. That'd be cool.

Hehe, he'd totally be a medium sized dog!
Note to self: People I am fond of and what dog breed they would be.

I don't nec. agree with everything Bukowski says, but i definitely admire it.

There are so many fucking pigeons on clark and lake. They are funny. Especially when I think they are swarming at me, on the verge of violence, when in reality there is just a piece of bread behind me.

I love this man. He is up there. Right along with Charlie Todd.

There are few people I'd ride the bus more than 2 hours for.

I've been told my only defect is my lack of knowledge in movies, but trust me sir, there are plently more. Guys like you make me laugh and not out of humor.

Stupid checklists.

I'm just going to stop talking about what I'm going to do and just do it and then talk about it once it happens after.

The semi colon and the colon are my favorite punctuation marks. Yerika can confirm this.

I found out two days ago that my friend has been a heroin addict since she was a freshman. She just revealed this to me since she got out of rehab a few weeks prior to me seeing her. I love her. She's so great and funny and I love when she spends the night. I love that her sick sense of humor, the most. You would think I would get offended or on the defense or something but no, I laugh hysterically. I guess it's because......... she's funny. lmfao..ahh yes..the grand conclusion. Anyway, yeah, she's awesome, and a little fucked up, but who cares. It's not like she's putting her dick in my cereal or anything. *

I wonder if Paul McCartney and I would have had a chance at friendship.
I definietely would not have wanted to go out with him.

I know everyone thinks I'd fuck him, but nah, I wouldn't. I just say I would because I'm lazy. I want me some platonic love with this fool.

He is attractive though. I mean, that face.
I like hugs. Friends can give hugs.

It's funny the different perceptions there are on Paul.

Some people think he is this some people think he is that but one thing is for sure: he's a beatle!

lmfao...what? that is not where i wanted this conversation to go.

Mickayla texted me to tell me she was watching Family guy and a scene with the Beatles in it was playing:

*ringo voice* Ringo: "Look..I wrote a song"
*paul voice* Paul: "That's great ringo. I'll put it right here on the refigerator"

Bahahaha, beatle jokes. love em'.

I like it's always sunny in philalephia because it pokes fun at serious situations in a way that makes sense.

Have you ever craved someone in a way that was impossible to attain?