happenings.

I'm being responsible now guys. I just finished my English 1 class. Today, I'm starting English 2. Practicing conquest (on my violin) and working on my portrait of Paul McCartney for art. Once my online class is done, I start P.E online. All of this has to be done in two weeks. I kind of like the pressure and the fact that I have a lot of productive things to do.
Once this is over, I plan on continuing to take classes somewhere for the violin :).

Clara came over today. Her internship is over. Everyone in my family was sad, especially me. She asked if I wanted to see another therapist and I told her that no, I didn't. I just feel as if my feelings are being passed around and I don't like the thought/feeling. I'm going to give another therapist a try though, until she finds a permanent stay in another clinic. She said some interesting things today, as she always does. She told me that I have an all or nothing mentality with people and things. That things are either at their height or they're total shit. This made me laugh because I know how true this is. I have embedded into my mind that my mom is a enemy and so every reaction I make toward her is a negative one. I have to reframe my thinking and realize that even if things aren't rainbows and unicorns, they don't have to be. Things can just be....neutral.
She also said that I had a beautiful family, which is hilarious because I can't tell you the amount of times I've cried thinking I was too nutty for life because of all the things my family has brought unto me. She said it's different when you're an outsider looking in. She said we have a lot of love, even though we do have problems. Hm.

Anyway, this is my brother's profile picture on facebook and I thought it was really cute/funny and so I decided to share it with you guys:

 

I really hope they listen to/love The Beatles when they get older. If I could wish one thing for them, it would be that.

 

I'm excited for lifeeeeeeeee.

 

I've recently gotten the inspiration to draw a lot more. I think it's because the pen Paul gave me is really nice and because I haven't really had anything to say as of late. I've just been observing and being in the background of things.

 

In the back of my heart, there is something looming. It's interesting that right off the bat Allyson could feel it, although I never told her she was right until today actually.

I don't know what it is and I don't know how to get to it. It's more of an annoyance than anything, or maybe it's just my lack of knowing how to react to it or maybe deep down I just really want some sort of escape that doesn't exist.

I don't know.