I'm really sad for the day Morrissey and Paul McCartney die. I'm really sad at the fact that it's possible that they can even die. In my head, they're young and exhuberant and brilliant and gleaming. I don't want them to die....
I guess I'm thinking about this since a lot of people are saying what "good" of an "idea" it is to go see Paul McCartney because "you know" and Morrissey just canceled his tour due to "health problems."
It's heart warming to think that even if they'll die, their music will always live. That's more than I could ever do. I'm tiny.

If Bonarroo didn't have Paul McCartney on the line-up, then it wouldn't be worth going. I can't wait to hear his lovely voice and melodies enchant me once again.

The only stability I have in my life is probably from Panda and Aumi. I like it this way.

My dad posted something on facebook that made me have nightmares. He said that it wasn't directed toward me, but other girls who might have to make that decision. I don't cry whenever I think about it. I just feel kind of weird. This is why I can't tell my parents anything. I wish to god that I could, but I can't. Somehow, in any situation, I'm to blame. I'm the one that needs to rise above this. My dad's response to my suffering? "It's life. You have to deal with what you have. K se lo va cer?" that's his reponse for EVERYTHING. for having a boyfriend, for getting fucking __________, for going through a break-up, for breaking a dish, for missing a doctor's appointment.
And another thing: everytime I got in trouble with school, he'd always side with people in authority. He never challenges anything. never. He's lived lots of his life getting stepped on and thinking that he deserves it to be this way..

Is it strange to say that I NEVER want to be like my parents?
But I still love them. Very much.

I remember having to write a college application essay in English. I had to convince them that I was  a great canidate for college or whatever. I wrote about how there is no such thing as stability. Probably the exact opposite of what a college looks for, but I probably wasn't a good candidate at the time anyway. I hate when people lie.
I got an A and we started talking to each other after school after that. She likes me.
I've decided that I'm not going out of my way to do anything to impress a college. I'm just going to be me, and if that isn't good enough, then oh well.

Anyway, that teacher was cool.


P.S I deleted my blog because I get paranoid about who reads it sometimes. I've been giving it out to too many people lately. Anyway, whatever. This is me.
^-^