Clara says I find comfort in irresponsibility because expectations make me anxious. It's easier for me to let people think I am unreliable than to disappoint them.


Clara is going to pick me up from school on Tuesday. I can't believe she likes me as much as she does. I was always intimidated by the fact that my flaws were going to be spread across the table, and here she is going above and beyond for me.I think that she thinks I'm a good person. Or a least trying to be one.

 I like the fact that she took me out to starbucks and offered me coffee, even though I didn't accept it.

Today, my mom offered me gum. She said it so nicely. I think this might be the highlight of my day. I don't know. I saw aumi today so it's pretty hard to tell.

"if somebody loves me, I want them to show me, so I can feel it too."

This has been a problem for me because sometimes I get shy with how I love someone. Sometimes I feel like they wouldn't want to recieve it.I have thought "how does this person want to be loved?" in the past. That was stupid. I'm so unashamed now. So unashamed.