wowwww

WHERE IS MY JOURNAL!i don't get the sense of release typing than I do from writing. I can't make love to this type writer...I really wish I could just frame morrisseys face in certain images when I watch him and the videos playing at 11:232 or whenever the fuck it's playing...and he gives you that look..I don't even care if I sound like nonsense right now...because do you know what you're getting a good look at? my mind! and are we just gonna loose that for grammar sakes? fuck no. so i'll keep with my ands and ands ands ands ands ands ands ands ands ands ands ands

I'm scared that I don't breathe enough.


I guess that's why we meditate, huh?

TWO THOUGHTS I NEED TO GET OUT OF MY HEAD:

1) Morrissey. I wonder how many of you blog-followers readers..whatever you are. actually seen the videos I post up? if you haven't..you should..they're pretty awesome.

i love how he looks at things. when he's talking i wish i could jus tfreeze frame it and just hang it up on my wall so I can stare at it and be in love with that moment of movement and everything that he stood for right than and there

lmfao. i'm nuts guys.

^-^

2) I forgot what the second one was...

Kristina...you are the missing beatle! You are the pisces! I wish you could see it, but you can't, and that's part of the reason why I think you're the missing beatle..lol. You really do have a beautiful soul, Kristina, You do. I admire you from a far.



yerika......it's so strange to talk about you when i'm acid. not talk..think.
i think of how deep your voice is....how it felt like i could feel the warmth of the word "embrace" when you hugged me..
it's crazy that i have the ability to look at that page right now...and re read my comments...
but i won't do that. ..i don't do that..



yerika you call me out on some really good things

and i'm dealing with them..okay?

when ... you..Allyson...me...and Kristina in a room..and not have to worry about stupid things..
^-^!

i guess they're not stupid..they're not stupid...

but kind of. a little.

whoever I marry/whatever/........i'm going to have to really really love their mind.

as strange illuminates in the background:  he's the schitzo/bipolar person, yet it's probably him that should be staying away from me..
he's clever..

we're constantly carrying illusions in our mind...

sometimes I say things and i'm not quite sure if I mean them and then later on I found out I did but it's only important because the person who brought it up must have brought it up for a reason..

lmfao. i'm having so much fun with this. words are really at my disposable. buhahahaha. wow this is starting to look like my own playground.

words so lightly thrownnnnnnnnnnnn



today in a conversation about sex with panda
I realized what the quote "sex is about power" meant
and it horrified me.
why are we so greedy guys? we shouldn't be so greedy..


I wish I could love Ben. it would be so easy. Love, I mean. Not loving him.
If there is anyone in this world who is more deserving of love.....it's ben.


I'm constantly trying to start out my sentences with ifs..
that's not right...

alllyson this might be really weird to voice out loud but i'm so optimistic about our relationship...there is something missing though..something we need to get at...i don't know what it is and i'm not too worried about it nowanyhow...










i am so imperfect guys
















i think panda is sleeping. we were supposed to watch the yellow submarine, but here I am tucked away in a little blog post..

lmfao she just nodded. she's up. fuck yes. okay well i'm gonna watch this. It's five o clock and I have to be at school in two hours. Let's see how this will go............